A cake better left to the professionals

Beth warned me ... she warned me from the inception of this convoluted idea. She said "Coach 'Gelli, I have made Boston Cream Pie from scratch. It was better from the box." Now, next to Mom and Sis, it is Beth's counsel that I seek on any issue - from men to baking. And just like always, this was advice I should have heeded. I really thought that Charlie would appreciate effort more so than the finished product, but I was wrong. Here goes... my dance with the devil known as Boston Cream Pie.

I got the recipe from the Joy of Cooking website, as none of the millions of cookbooks I own have a recipe for this monstrosity. That should have been a hint. I gathered all the ingredients and made the cake (pie) first. It was your basic white cake which did not come out terribly moist. The cake called for:

5 large eggs

3/4 cup (150 grams) granulated white sugar, divided

1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/2 cup (60 grams) plain cake flour (not self-rising)

1/4 cup (35 grams) all purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

3 tablespoons milk

2 tablespoons (28 grams) unsalted butter

1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar

Then I did all of this -

While the eggs are still cold separate three of the eggs, placing the yolks in one large mixing bowl and the whites in another bowl. To the yolks, add the two remaining eggs. Cover the two bowls with plastic wrap and allow the eggs to come to room temperature before using (about 30 minutes).

Meanwhile, in a small bowl whisk together the flours, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.

Place the milk and butter in a small saucepan, over low heat, and warm until the butter melts. Remove from heat, cover, and keep warm.

In your electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, (or with a hand mixer) beat the whole eggs and yolks and 6 tablespoons (75 grams) of the sugar on high speed for about five minutes, or until they are thick, fluffy and light colored (when you slowly raise the beaters the batter will fall back into the bowl in a slow ribbon). Beat in the vanilla extract.

In another clean mixing bowl, with the whisk attachment, (or with a hand mixer) beat the egg whites and cream of tartar, at low speed, until foamy. Increase the speed to medium-high and gradually add the remaining sugar, beating until soft, moist peaks form. Gently fold a little of the whites into the batter to lighten it, and then add the rest of the whites folding just until incorporated. Sift half of the flour mixture over the top of the batter and gently fold through with a rubber spatula or whisk. Sift the remaining flour over the batter and fold in. Do not over mix.

Make a well on one side of the batter and pour the melted butter/milk mixture into the bowl. Gently but thoroughly fold the butter mixture into the batter. Do not over mix.

Divide the batter between the two prepared pans, smoothing the tops, and bake for about 18-20 minutes or until light brown and springy to the touch. (A toothpick nserted in the middle will come out clean.) Remove from oven and place on a wire rack to cool. Immediately run a spatula or sharp knife around the inside of the pans and then invert the cakes onto a wire rack. Remove parchment paper and re-invert. Cool completely.

I used so many bowls and pots and pans, it was unbelievable.

Then the pastry cream, which Charlie had no problem pointing out was "completely wrong" and my Mom even told me was "tasteless." Here's goes - pastry cream from hell:

1/4 cup (50 grams) granulated white sugar

3 large egg yolks

1/8 cup (20 grams) all-purpose flour

Scant 3 tablespoons (20 grams) cornstarch

1 1/4 cups (300 ml) milk

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

I did what they told me to do - In a medium-sized stainless steel bowl, mix the sugar and egg yolks. (Do not let this mixture sit too long or you will get pieces of egg forming.) Sift the flour and cornstarch together and then add to the egg mixture, mixing until you get a smooth paste. Set aside.

Once again with all the bowls and pots and pans! Give me a break!

Now, the only thing that came out right was the chocolate ganache on top. That recipe was:

4 ounces (120 grams) semisweet chocolate, chopped

1/2 cup (120 ml) heavy whipping cream

1 teaspoon unsalted butter

Place the chopped chocolate in a small heatproof bowl. Bring the cream and butter just to a boil in a saucepan over medium heat. Immediately pour the boiling cream over the chocolate and allow to stand for a 3-5 minutes. Gently stir until smooth. Set aside for a few minutes until it has thickened to pouring consistency.

To Assemble: Place one cake layer on your serving place bottom side facing up. Spoon the pastry cream onto the cake, spreading to make an even layer. Place the second cake layer (bottom side up) onto the filling. Pour the glaze onto the center of the cake and carefully spread the glaze, with an offset spatula, to the edges of the cake, allowing the glaze to drip down the sides. Let the cake sit until the glaze sets, about one hour. Serve. This cake is best eaten the same day it is made. Cover and refrigerate any leftovers.

Yeah, I did all of that... and then some. With the leftover ganache I added some meringue powder so I could stiffen the chocolate and make a nice fancy border. I figured that most people eat with their eyes anyhow. Now, I must tell you... I got away with making this thing look like a Boston Cream Pie, but by no means does it taste like one. Mom added copious amounts of whipped cream to hers, and Charlie took a huge heaping piece, but by no means was this a success. I will leave this one to the lifers at the Dutch Kitchen in Fitchburg or your local grocery store. They do it much better.

But since I do not deal with failure well, I may attempt Martha Stewart's version of pastry cream and try another cake recipe. The glaze I will keep. That was a winner. And what do I do when I have a baking failure? I make a tried and true successful recipe. So yes, in the oven at B Street are three loaves of Easter Babka. Why Easter Babka? Well, why not? I guess it is a contradiction in terms, as Babka is a Jewish delicacy, and Easter is the antithesis of Judaic beliefs... but I am a woman full of contradictions.